Heh 

Men Can Be Shallow

I was reading a male friend's blog about women interested in men that are a$$holes......well, here is what I have to say about the weaker opposite of women....men:) Since I have gotten divorced, I have noticed that almost every single man I know or have dated are interested in purely looks.....seriously. I find it very difficult, being the age I am or having had children, or having been married, that there is this stereotype now...that I have already been spoiled and that it is acceptable for the man to come onto you within the first date....the first week....or a couple thereafter. Where has chivalry gone to?I also have noticed that if you do not look like Pam Anderson, Brittney Spears...or your typical early twenty something that you are not the sexy one the guy is looking for and most often times will be overlooked. I want tofind just one man who is not shallow, one man who has not lost his chivalry, one man who was raised right by his mother...grandmother.....whatever. One man who is not an a$$hole, like my friend's blog stated. Maybe I should move to Europe!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness......a two egded sword, I think. I find it so much easier to forgive a childhood past full of pain than to forgive a most recent occurence. To emphasize on my point, a childhood through adulthood of mishaps at the hand of a parent, I don't want to bore with alot of detail, because I know almost everyone has experienced their own childhood drama with a parent or both parents..I had my share and have moved past it and I feel I have moved towards forgiveness. The problem is forgiving and going past my 11 year marriage.
I was greatly wronged by my ex and have had, still today, to get "over" the trauma it has caused me. As I have stated before in this blog, I am a person who tries to make sense out of the senseless. I have been separated for almost two years and recently I divorced this past Oct.
I have heard that it takes time to get past these things, I know this because life has not been an easy ride and I understand how things take time. It sometimes seems I am wanting to get over this whole thing, maybe sooner than I need to, and get on with my life. I have experinced alot of the "steps" of "getting on with your life", the shock, the disgust, the angriness(sp?), the sadness, the wondering why..when...and where and now am at this standstill...of almost wanting to feel sorry for myself...which is a feeling I loathe and matter of factly think is truly pathetic. This whole ordeal has made me feel like I cannot be alone "independent", a feeling that I have been told to get over and begin again....easier said than done. I would love to move past this "block" in the road of my life and yes I know patience is a virtue, but anyone who knows what I am going throughknows all too well what patience can do for you....make you crazy at times. I want to understand what exactly I am feeling, besides the fact of simple rejection, I know there is more to it. I want to know how to get to the p[lace where I can gracefully bow out...aka...let go...forgive and move on.

Hijacking Dena's blog :)

Yeah, it's 12:50, and here I am still awake. Supposed to be at work at 6am. Bah!

Dena has somehow managed to get a Sunday off--including the store meeting. Way to go miss "I have 6.75 hours of OT" *pffts*

LUCKY!

So now it's up to me to talk about building better health at the store meeting.
*snifs* that's okay... I can do it alone *sniffles*

So, enjoy your day off while I toil in the orange monster. Ahh well, at least I have Monday to look forward to...

Sushi and sake! Huzzah!
Liz

me holding Charlie 

His gorgeous face! 

My BIG kitty

For the past nine years I have been the mother of Charlie, I consider him my first born son..ha ha ...He is a gorgeous tuxedo cat (black and white) and he weighs in at 32 pounds. I have bragging rights being his mommy....so I have posted a picture of him here. The sad misfortune
of my kitty is that everyone who has seen him is a little bit freaked out because of his size(now he is not as fat as he is a big cat, seriously) and I get numerous emails ( cartoon pics mostly) of fat cats (usualy the black and white nature >:/ ) the cat is usually belly up....looking at you with a "what are you looking at" face. Charlie is always sleeping behind me on my bed and I think he probably sees these pictures and this probably hurts his feelings too!! Poor kitty...( ha ha )
I also have a half bobcat, half domestic little girl called "Tinker" aka Tinkerbell (aptly named by my daughter ). She is about a year and a half, absolutely gorgeous little lover of a cat. I will take a pic and post it on my blog soon. Anyway, enough of my ravings....heeeeeeeerrrrrrs Charlie!

My artworks

I am a third generation artist, so I decided to share some of my art with you here. My next painting is in the works, I need inspiration!! Any help would be appreciated. The medium is a
wooden gate made of fence panels. The poor thing is just collecting dust in my garage.

another painting I did of a sundial.:) 

A pastel painting I did last year...a view of the ocean at night with the waves hitting the rocks below. I have never titled this painting.  

My bunny mosaic 

Just Crazy Little Me 

Why I don't want to take Aikido

Ok, I will say, first of all....before I get flamed for this post. Aikido is a wonderful martial arts and it contributes to your soul...well being...yada yada yada. I am not a fan of getting my butt thrown around and getting bruises ( quite visible to the naked eye) on my body, muscle aching like they should never do. I am not the type of person who wants to get tossed onto the floor over and over. NOW, I do understand, thanks to the ever present Aikido fanatic best friend of mine, Liz :),
the upside of Aikido. ( If you want to know what they are...please visit her blog (which is in my links section below.)
I write about this today...BECAUSE....everytime we are out together, which is almost everyday ( we also work together), she places this horrible guilt trip on me, calls me a wuss ( which we both know I am not), and starts in on...."if you were truly a friend...you would be in this new adventure with me" blah blah blah. Enough of the Aikido pressure!! Death to the pressure!!!!! >:? I will not do this......NOW, on the other hand, I have been wanting to take Tai Chi.....the reason why it is not a popular bit of conversation is because one does not get the crap knocked out of them and bruises just don't happen. (HaYah!!) It is a Soulful, graceful martial art that I am definitely looking into. I am also a Yoga fiend. So, now I have poured myself once again onto this blog....and I am sure flames will pop up out of the blue. I will never surrender!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are they all married??

Alright, here is my ravings.......why are the good ones always married?
It seems wrong that I would be enamored by a married man, after all,
I left my ex because he was having several affairs. I don't get this.
My mystery married man and I flirt continously. I feel a little bit bad about it,
but not enough to stop. I guess the old saying, "you want what you cannot get",
applies to me as well. I never wanted to be apart of this little rendevous, but
neverthelesss, it has happened. I actually judge men that I meet, who are
quite single, by the looks and character matching that of my mystery married
man. Truly pathetic but truly true. What is a girl to do??
Through these many happenings, I have learned a valuable lesson, though,
( I try to make sense of out senseless things) never pass judgement upon
another, it just may come back to haunt you!I must get over
this feeling, but it is very hard to do. If only I could hate this person, perhaps
I would go on with my little life. I must must must find reasons to hate him...
ha ha. Yes, I hear the laughter now.