Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Off vacation, back to work and starting school

Alright, I am posting a blog once again. I actually keep up my blog ranting on http://myspace.com/cardigandiary but unfortunately they are down with website
maintenance....so here I am. July 4th was great, spent sometime with Liz and
went to see the fireworks show at Grapevine Lake with Liz, Michael( her bro),
my two kids. Got bit twice by fireants though....paying dearly for that one.
I am allergic to those bastards! I was on a two week vacation ( june10th

thru the 24th, my kids are with me for the summer) and am now back to work,
getting back into the swing of things. The sad part is that I actually
MISSED work, strange thing about being orange blooded I guess. I am
missing adult contact, my kids take up most of my time, and rightfully so,
I love them tremendously, but I seriously need adult contact and communication.
I am not so great at playing mommy, I hide it well though ;) My kids are
going back to Ohio this Sunday....I will miss them alot.
I am making a moving transition at the end of July, a little scared...but excited
and feeling like I am making the right decision. I am moving in with Liz and her
mother Sharon. I feel like this is the right thing to do right now in the transition
of my life. I am looking for a peaceful and accepting home. I am now living with my
mom and she is a wonderful person, she has some hang ups about accepting people
that do not share her views and I feel like I am getting suffocated spiritually. I
look forward to beginning this new chapter in my life. The scared part of my feelings on this move is that.....I really do NOT have a home to call my own...you know...my own home. I am living with my mom....living with my best friend. Since the divorce, I stayed in my own apartment briefly, until my mom wanted me to move in with her....to help me in my schooling...she did not want me living on my own, to be honest. It is that motherly thing of keeping the child safe, I guess.....or perhaps playing devil's advocate, it is a control thing, that she is very good at. Seeing that I have new found freedom and not wanting me to mess my life up with the partying. I completely respect the way she would feel.
I started my massage therapy school last night, we are starting with the tech classes, hands on approach and lectures. The instructor is a Reiki Master, she will be teaching us ALOT of different things that have to do with grounding and energy...helkps when you are a massage practioner.....you are helping those heal themselves...by releasing your energy into them thorugh massage. She actually mentioned something very interesting to the class. I have experienced a release during a massage ( release usually happens during deep tissue massage, it can come in the form of crying or laughing). She said your muscles have memories, through past trauma...whether is be mental or physical, deep tissue massage has been known to make people give a release. She said this will happen on a regular basis and to accept it. I think that is awesome. It almost makes me feel enlightened in a way. Like I am contributing to making someone heal themselves. I cannot imagine a profession that could be anymore fullfilling than that. I truly think I have found my place.

2 Comments:

Blogger Liz said...

I am so proud of you for starting your school. I know it means alot to you, and I couldn't be happier for you, honestly.

I think we are both finding out place in the world in the midst of drastic change.

Can't wait until you get moved in. We're going to have such an adventure. Oh, and if you ever need me for homework... lol
After aikido, I may be willing to be a guinea pig ^__^

Lizzer

9:58 PM  
Blogger Dena said...

Thank you Liz, I am very lucky to have a friend like you. I think the whole wonderful thing about you is that you are an encourager. You (and your mom) allow people to be who they are and are not judgemental. You will probably turn into my guinea pig! lol
BUT REMEMBER....when I practice on you...I need constructive criticism. I need to know if I sucked or if I was 'damn good' *said in a fat bastard tone*

XOX

5:40 AM  

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